Tom Daley on being a gay dad: People wouldn’t ask a straight couple that
Pic: Dustin Lance Black / Instagram
British Olympic diver Tom Daley believes that people’s reaction to he and his husband having a baby though surrogacy instead of adoption reflects biased heteronormative views.
Speaking to The Telegraph, Daley revealed that he and American scriptwriter spouse Dustin Lance Black are often questioned about how they chose to become dads.
He said that people ask: “Why don’t you adopt?” But Daley believes that, “You wouldn’t say that to a straight couple. You wouldn’t say: ‘Why do you deserve to have a biological kid?'”
The couple announced the birth of their son Robert, who was carried by a surrogate mom in the US, in June.
Daley said that he and Black are still in touch with the woman. “She becomes such a massive part of your life for those nine months. Some don’t want long-term relationships [with the parents]. We talk to ours all the time,” Daley said.
As for who between the two men is the biological father, the couple don’t know and aren’t keen to find out. “[O]ne thing we’re very strongly leaning towards is that we don’t want to know. He’s ours,” Daley said.
The couple started receiving death threats and insults almost immediately after they posted pictures on Instagram of themselves holding an ultrasound scan of their unborn baby on Valentine’s Day.
Daley, 24, who won bronze medals for diving at the 2012 and 2016 Olympic Games, came out as bisexual in 2013 and then clarified a few months later that he identifies as gay. Black, 44, won an Academy Award for his script for the acclaimed 2008 film Milk, about the life of the late, openly gay politician and activist Harvey Milk.
After a five year relationship, they married in a lavish ceremony at Bovey Castle in Devon, England, in May 2017.
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