Comments on: SHY GUYS MAKE GOOD BOYFRIENDS https://www.mambaonline.com/2007/04/12/shy-guys-make-good-boyfriends/ South Africa's leading LGBTQ news and community platform Thu, 12 Apr 2007 00:00:00 +0000 hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.9.4 By: LightHouse https://www.mambaonline.com/2007/04/12/shy-guys-make-good-boyfriends/#comment-5802 Tue, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 https://www.mambaonline.com/2007/04/12/shy-guys-make-good-boyfriends/#comment-5802 The Other Day. Shyness! I’m at a point where this paralysing emotion has me swimming “de nile”

Thing is, I have misread a lot signs before, I reacted, boldly so, in over romanticised ways and sometimes in absolute confidence. I’ve scribbled on serviettes, I’ve walked up tostrangers and back when I was a scholar, I’ve take that empty seat in the bus.

My single state clearly explains it all didn’t work out. I either made a fool of myself or they just weren’t interested. this has left me more afraid than shy. It also made me realise being bold and confident for someone who is naturally shy takes it’s toll.

With all that said, I think I’d still do it all over again, I just need a real hard push (That’s what Eva, Greg and Norman are there for right?!)

]]> By: Kevinhill https://www.mambaonline.com/2007/04/12/shy-guys-make-good-boyfriends/#comment-5756 Tue, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 https://www.mambaonline.com/2007/04/12/shy-guys-make-good-boyfriends/#comment-5756 mixed emotions. hey,
i am always the centre piece at any party, always greeting and meeting people. chatting and dancing. arranging social group hook ups. its no issue for me to ask people for their numbers…

but

i can never ever build up the courage to ask the guy that i want to get with, for his number or even just to ask him if we can hook up some time.
the fear of rejection is just so bad, that i would much rather stay lonely forever than be rejected.

]]> By: Single&Lonely https://www.mambaonline.com/2007/04/12/shy-guys-make-good-boyfriends/#comment-5755 Tue, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 https://www.mambaonline.com/2007/04/12/shy-guys-make-good-boyfriends/#comment-5755 In reply to Rolando.

Understand. I feel you there…I am extremely quiet and shy in social situations. Not really sure how to make conversation etc etc so some people assume me to be moody, unfriendly and unapproachable but that’s SOOO not true.

]]> By: Me https://www.mambaonline.com/2007/04/12/shy-guys-make-good-boyfriends/#comment-5748 Tue, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 https://www.mambaonline.com/2007/04/12/shy-guys-make-good-boyfriends/#comment-5748 In reply to Art.

Yes. I agree with you 100%. I have given up going to clubs and bars as if you are slightly different you are immediately made to feel like an outcast.

I battle to talk to guys in clubs and have missed many opportunities.

]]> By: Andrew https://www.mambaonline.com/2007/04/12/shy-guys-make-good-boyfriends/#comment-5746 Tue, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 https://www.mambaonline.com/2007/04/12/shy-guys-make-good-boyfriends/#comment-5746 Shy Guys!. Shy guys are so so so so so so HOT!

]]> By: Art https://www.mambaonline.com/2007/04/12/shy-guys-make-good-boyfriends/#comment-5745 Tue, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 https://www.mambaonline.com/2007/04/12/shy-guys-make-good-boyfriends/#comment-5745 Based on what I’ve read in these comments, it seems that there a lot of shy peeps out there. Most of the time I struggle in social situations because there’s a stigma attached to those cliques you see at the clubs (the ones that are usually snooty, big mouthed and outright “in your face”) and in my experience, it seems you have to abide to the FIFO rule: Fit in or f***k off! Don’t you think this is a bit harsh?? I mean, how we can we break out of our shyness when you are faced with these type of people. My eternal struggle stems from having to play “chameleon” in these situations constantly because these types tend to force you to be like them or you have to just disappear. I don’t for the life of me understand why some cliques have to behave like this. I really sympathise with others like me who have to endure this type of ridicule from these so-called “respected” people. I truly believe in the Love Coach’s article and it’s not always the extroverted types who have a wonderful time and always get what they want. In most cases, they too feel totally alienated and have other supressed dramas that they manage to hide so well. What about the shy boy who really has a lot to offer, but is never given a chance because of the fear of being ridiculed or embarrased in these clique situations. I would love to hear feedback from the shy boys on this as it is a problem and needs to be addressed (perhaps direction to a support group or similar association??)

Love to all!!!

]]> By: lucky17 https://www.mambaonline.com/2007/04/12/shy-guys-make-good-boyfriends/#comment-5742 Tue, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 https://www.mambaonline.com/2007/04/12/shy-guys-make-good-boyfriends/#comment-5742 im not shy, but i should learn how to be. Im anything but SHY.. and although shy guys do make great boyfriends… how’s about telling the less extroverted shy guys, that those who share fewer hibitions, are outgoing and complete extroverts.. are worth a try… i have found that, shy guys tend to steer clear, they may envy an extroverts confidence, but they certainly dont seem to wanna take the risk of having a relationship with someone too.. out-there.. claiming that they need someone who is more reserved and similar to themselves…

]]> By: mgrk https://www.mambaonline.com/2007/04/12/shy-guys-make-good-boyfriends/#comment-5737 Tue, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 https://www.mambaonline.com/2007/04/12/shy-guys-make-good-boyfriends/#comment-5737 Being shy. What a pleasure to read with so much stuff that resonated with me. Gay men of a certain age are often in a difficult situation because the old habits and legal recriminations appear to be hard to break: Who is looking? Who will see this? Thanks for a great and sensitive article.

]]> By: hunkyhunk https://www.mambaonline.com/2007/04/12/shy-guys-make-good-boyfriends/#comment-5736 Tue, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 https://www.mambaonline.com/2007/04/12/shy-guys-make-good-boyfriends/#comment-5736 In reply to Rolando.

shy. i came across as a troublesome person and i always try to be very foward and aticualte a friendliness and appoach but behind it all im still shy. not even stage could take away my shyness.

]]> By: ian https://www.mambaonline.com/2007/04/12/shy-guys-make-good-boyfriends/#comment-5734 Tue, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 https://www.mambaonline.com/2007/04/12/shy-guys-make-good-boyfriends/#comment-5734 Shyness. Congrats on a well-written and insightfull article!
I was once also kept hostage by fear. And using many of these techniques described in this article I broke free! I remain reserved in certain situations but these are at will. And I no longer feel threatened or anxious in social circumstances.
And I DO notice the more shy guys….
Keep well and chin up.

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