Comments on: LOVING ACROSS THE HIV LINE https://www.mambaonline.com/2011/02/10/loving-across-the-hiv-line/ South Africa's leading LGBTQ news and community platform Thu, 10 Feb 2011 22:00:00 +0000 hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.9.4 By: ddr https://www.mambaonline.com/2011/02/10/loving-across-the-hiv-line/#comment-11556 Tue, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 https://www.mambaonline.com/2011/02/10/loving-across-the-hiv-line/#comment-11556 mixing it up. i’ve been involved with a HIV- hunk for almost 2 years now – it was difficult in the beginning of the relationship, but we have both realized that its not about your status, it about what you feel for each other… and having a transparent relationship – say what you think, think what you say…

]]> By: nick https://www.mambaonline.com/2011/02/10/loving-across-the-hiv-line/#comment-11599 Tue, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 https://www.mambaonline.com/2011/02/10/loving-across-the-hiv-line/#comment-11599 Dating Positive Men. Somehow, fate lined up 3 positive partners in a row for me. I am negative. Breaking up is usually a complex issue, but without doubt the psychological impact on positive men is far more troublesome than disease! In fact, after my first HIV positive partner, I was weary not about the disease, but the way in which they dealt with it. Which I was very upfront about. All three were emotionally confused, and during conflicts, HIV was always their argument of last resort: “You can’t understand what I’m going through” kind of closer.

I found that they all used their status as an emotional last resort, when faced with uncomfortable feelings. I also believe that there is not enough awareness (for both + and – people) of the emotional side effects of ARVS. These effects are real, and lead to some serious perceptive distortions. Which would be fine, if only better understood and factored in.

I realise the immense damage of social prejudice has on infected people, but really, I hope we are able to move into a second stage of recovery, that addresses these real issues. I would really encourage positive people to reach out to trusted friends and get this out of their system. And realise that suffering, prejudice and fear are not unique to them.

]]> By: M https://www.mambaonline.com/2011/02/10/loving-across-the-hiv-line/#comment-11597 Tue, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 https://www.mambaonline.com/2011/02/10/loving-across-the-hiv-line/#comment-11597 I’d still run for the hills!. I got an HIV scare nearly 3 years ago. I will never knowingly have sex with an HIV+ guy. I am so paranoid about getting this virus, that I have been celibate for about two years now. I have the information, so my paranoia and fear is not lack of info. My gay uncle and my cousin both died from aids-related ilnesses in the nineties, so I have seen it for myself.
I am open to loving an HIV+ guy, but when it comes to physical intimacy, I freak out. And I know that most of my friends feel this way too.

To the HIV+ guys reading this, I really feel for you, and can fall in love with you, but I don’t think I could handle dealing with the risks involved.

I hope a cure is found really soon.

]]> By: degs https://www.mambaonline.com/2011/02/10/loving-across-the-hiv-line/#comment-11571 Tue, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 https://www.mambaonline.com/2011/02/10/loving-across-the-hiv-line/#comment-11571 me again. I would love for this article to be explored mor in-depth.

There are a lot of guys who, when they hear that I was in a relationship with a positive guy, won’t even give me the time of day, and begin getting really nasty.

If you monitor things carefully and are comfortable with each other, then there should be no problems at all. Our relationship was based on openness and honesty…. We loved each other and that was the most important thing, not the status.

]]> By: degs https://www.mambaonline.com/2011/02/10/loving-across-the-hiv-line/#comment-11570 Tue, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 https://www.mambaonline.com/2011/02/10/loving-across-the-hiv-line/#comment-11570 It’s not hard. i dated a guy who was HIV positive for 9 years. Our relationship only ended because he was killed in a car accident. I remain, to this day, negative. Would I date and sleep with another HIV positive guy? YES I would. There is no difference to the preson at all. They are awesome people…

]]> By: NEGATIVE https://www.mambaonline.com/2011/02/10/loving-across-the-hiv-line/#comment-11568 Tue, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 https://www.mambaonline.com/2011/02/10/loving-across-the-hiv-line/#comment-11568 Not so hard. I am in a LTR with a HIV+ guy. I sort of found out the roundabout way, and i remain negative (closely monitored).

At first the emotions can be a bit overwhelming, but when you get to know the facts, it is really not that scary. Especially if your partner has an undetected viral load. And what a lot of people dont know is, when you have an undetected viral load you only have a 30% chance of getting infected. So I would love to know what all the drama is about! Be safe, take your meds, and be happy. You have a better chance of being driven over by a taxi than dying of AIDS in my opiniopn, especially with the wonderful new medicines and research available to us.

]]> By: POZ https://www.mambaonline.com/2011/02/10/loving-across-the-hiv-line/#comment-11565 Tue, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 https://www.mambaonline.com/2011/02/10/loving-across-the-hiv-line/#comment-11565 …… Having been positive since the mid 80’s and in a discordant relationship of 20 years there is really very little to be frightened of a long as you educate yourself.
With current antiretriviral medication, there should be very little illnes which is Hiv related.
The answer is to be totally open with each other, gain knowlege how to protect each other.
When you consider the amount of unsafe sex which is happening, and with such a large percentage of people claiming to be negative when they do not know their status , I would be more concerned if someone tells me they are negative.
Treat all your partner(s) as if they are positive an protect yourself.

]]> By: anonymous https://www.mambaonline.com/2011/02/10/loving-across-the-hiv-line/#comment-11564 Tue, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 https://www.mambaonline.com/2011/02/10/loving-across-the-hiv-line/#comment-11564 I love my partner very much but it can be difficult when you encounter issues like other illnesses that yr hiv positive partner catches and you can be exposed to these. So many thoughts go through yr mind and u feel selfish for thinking about you in the situation and yet he is the one who u should be thinking about. You also feel bad because it may have been you who exposed him even if u have both been faithful, many illnesses are undetectable and either of you could have contracted it before u met and not known. However it is also about the hiv negative partner because it all affects us too and sometimes the positive partner forgets this and we keep quiet because we love them and dont want to hurt their feelings. I really love my partner and dont want anyone else in my life but the challenges are huge and honesty can be scary. I would never end the relationship because of his status and I would hope he wouldnt either but the honesty is the most important issue but then again it is no matter what your status

]]> By: Mark https://www.mambaonline.com/2011/02/10/loving-across-the-hiv-line/#comment-11560 Tue, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 https://www.mambaonline.com/2011/02/10/loving-across-the-hiv-line/#comment-11560 HIV. What an amazing article. This article gave me a strong sense of, I think I need to say validation, even though I should validate myself. However, as an HIV + male, who has been so for at least 15 years, and who has been in a solid relationship with my negative partner for 12 years (he is still negative), I need to applaud the writer. Also, all the sentiments dealt with are so true, and dealt with realistically. It would be great if this article was dealt with in more depth, including doing some more research with discordant couples, and others.

]]> By: Toni https://www.mambaonline.com/2011/02/10/loving-across-the-hiv-line/#comment-11559 Tue, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 https://www.mambaonline.com/2011/02/10/loving-across-the-hiv-line/#comment-11559 Its a difficult one. It is really difficult to just say, because you wont know when reality strikes.

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