Comments on: MY FIRST GAY WEDDING

By: Barry

Barry — Tue, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

Hi Al – There are feint traces of melancholic apprehension that float out of your words. I’m not married either, rarely go to weddings and doubt very heavily if we’ll ever assimilate into the “traditional” cookie-cutter line of marriage.
Your writing usually parades your ordinary opinions in strong fashion, but in this case, it’s clear that this is unfamiliar territory for you.
Regardless of what straight people portray as marriage, be less subdued because love can’t be that punitive – it’s just that straight people do it wrong. After all, besides marriage, no other legally binding contract is entered into with an unaccountable god (whomever he/she/it may be to you).
If it helps any, I’ wish you that great love I’ keep hearing about and hopefully your next matrimonial account (of your own wedding) will be more affirmative.

By: basschef

basschef — Tue, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

barry I think you are cynical. It is a beautifully written story, touching on many relevant points.

By: Al

Al — Tue, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

Thanks basschef 🙂 Barry, my experience was totally affirmative. I’m merely questioning whether we will all soon face the same pressures as straight people in this regard; I’m not saying it’s the wrong thing to do at all.

By: Joe

Joe — Tue, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

No swans? No choir boys? No Samantha dancing with a dog in her handbag? What kind of gay wedding is this?!

Seriously though, it sounded like a beautiful occasion and incredibly heartful. I often have fears that the gay movement has assimilated and ‘hetero-normalized’ ourselves in order to gain that heretosexual acceptance. I think it’s important to choose the life we want to live, whether it conforms to straight expectations or not, and keep encouraging tolerance for lifestyles we might not necessarily have chosen. Only if we do this will the gay population be completely ‘accepted’, regardless of the lifestyle choices they make.

By: Al

Al — Tue, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

In reply to Joe. Well said Joe, exactly.

By: MvelaseP

MvelaseP — Tue, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

Joe, I get your point and I think there's some truth to it, to a degree.

In my opinion though, the"assimilation" & "hetero-normalisation" of the gay movement is only a symptom of the culture that all gays were brought up in. We also were raised with the image of 2.5 kids, the dog, & the white pick-up fence and all that shit as the ultimate fulfillment of human life so it makes sense for us to want that, just with a spouse of the same sex which we now can have.

Rather than seeing it as us adopting ideals of straight culture, should we rather not be seeing it as us claiming our right to have that life, if it is what we want?

To get back to Al's column, I think the day our mothers and grandmothers, who were raised in entirely different generations with different norms start expecting us to "settle down," like our hetero siblings that won't be ?assimilation,? it'll just be us having been fully accepted as equal members of wider society and having wider society?s expectations placed on us as well.

By: Lionel Millard

Lionel Millard — Tue, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

My husband and I got married on 29th September this year and this coming May we celebrate 9 years together. We were very clear on what we wanted our day to be (emphasis on OUR day). It was going to be exactly how we wanted it, with absolutely no “hetero” traditions included (some are unavoidable though) and with guests we wanted there. We got ready together on the morning of the wedding, waited at the venue as guests arrived and spent some time with them and took some family photos. We had a secular service in the on-site chapel and we walked down to isle together, with no bridal party. We found a very profound wedding speech for gay weddings online, tweaked it here and there and gave this to our officiant. Our speech was amazing and in hindsight, maybe a tad political but nonetheless beautiful and jerked tears from everyone present!
Our after-party was sublime! We had no pre-arranged seating and we wanted everyone to just mingle. The hall wat set up to be like our home, with couches and tables for conversations and plenty of flowers and of course, bling and candelabras!
As per the wedding you attended Al, my mother and father both gave very emotional speeches and highlighted how our parents (and probably all parents with gay children) struggle to accept their children’s unions. That said, their unconditional love and acceptance was what their message was all about (is this not what the day is about really???) and the ourpouring of love from our parents and families and all our dear friends that were present was absolutely incredible and we were overwhelmed and very honoured!
It’s a day we will chesrish in our hearts forever.

By: jp

jp — Tue, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

yawn*