WOW. I like your response and agree with your observations and I am really TIRED of the excuse of WE ARE MEN, MEN ARE HUNTERS, WE ARE ALL MEN and so it goes on and on. If you want all of this don’t mess with other people – stay single and enjoy your life! Are there really no morals and values keeping people together?

Open realtionships – what is the point?

All of this is just wat to much for me! Why is it so difficult to find people who are interested in real commitment, real love and building lasting realtions?

With regards to porn internet or otherwise both my partner enjoy watching porn, but completely different genres he likes muscles, I like twinks, by watching each others favoured genre, we have found that porn has enhanced our sex lives and has encouraged an open honest relationship where we can share our fantasies with out fear of being judged or found lacking.

I would not encourage couples who are not in an honest relationship to watch porn as I feel that it may be harmful

Bravo Dr Phil!. Dr Phil hit it spot on here.

Regular porn viewers do not realise the subtle damage porn does to your sexual being.

I’m not trying to be puritanical here and if it makes you happy to watch porn and be in a relationship then so be it. However, Joe Kort is trying to justify it and create some sort of validation for a pretty debasing act that subterfuges your mental relationship with your partner.

If you need porn in your relationship then there’s something missing.

Reply to Xris. You’ve given a great answer and I completely agree with you. I honestly hope that I, and many others, can find the same kind of monogamous relationship with a healthy and yet adventurous sex life. Thumbs up on that one!

….. I know I’ve never watched porn without him being there and I trust him enough not to do the same thing. And if he has (or does) then I know he’ll tell me and we can discuss the whole why issue in a mature manner. Will I feel like he has cheated on me? No. Cheating (for me) is defined physically. Porn is fantasy. It’s an escape. Will it drive him to cheat? I don’t think so because we are willing to (safely) meet each others fantasies, which has kept our relationship monogamous. We don’t let “it” intrude on our relationship (and yes, our sex life is also great without the porn), it hasn’t changed us into raving sex craved lunatics, and we are not depraved just because we use porn every so often to spice things up. If porn is considered cheating then sex toys must be considered the same. If you walked in on your partner and he was (um, how to put his decently) using a dildo, would that be considered cheating?
Personally, couples need to deal with this type of issue on their own in an open & honest setting. If couples cannot be open & honest with each other then there are more serious underlying issues other than the porn.

Dr Phill – you rock – thanks for speaking out on this topic where others has dreaded to tredd because they are afraid they will offend people (or loose popularity) …even though they know they are wrong when they say its OK.

Great!. Great if it helps you guys…but the point is if you’d like it if your boyfriend watches porn without you.
Also, Dr. Phil ain’t all that bad. It isn’t always nice to hear the things we don’t want to hear, knowing it actually has some merit.

As to whether or not it is healthy or ‘correct’ for gay men in relationships to watch porn, I honestly don’t care. But porn is similar to eating foie gras. Decadent, but only possible because of the abuse of others.