“I am not attracted to effeminacy and I think most gay men are not attracted to effeminacy simply because some gay men grew up taking women as role models when it comes to seduction. Heterosexual men love femininity in the opposite (women), but gay men like the opposite (masculinity) so, when you take a heterosexual dynamic of seduction and try to adapt it to homosexuality it is most likely not going to work.

Whether or not you want to admit it, effeminacy does indeed evoke women or the female gender role which I think most gay men don’t desire in a partner unless they were bisexual at least.”

Very interesting. I guess friends would describe me as masculine. Played sports growing up, hip hop dancer, skateboarder, fitness guy. “Jock” for a lack of better terms. I don’t have an effeminate voice and often am mistaken for heterosexual. This is the first time ever that I’ve heard the idea of gay man imitating feminine characteristics of women to get heterosexual attraction. I consider myself bisexual homoromantic. Sexually attracted to men. Romantically attracted to men. Sexually attracted to women. NOT romantically attracted to women. I find your sentence about being bisexual interesting because I guess sexually I am attracted to masculine men and feminine women. I have no problem whatsoever with femininity though. Lot of my buddies are extremely feminine and I’m just as gay! But I don’t have any connection to a female ‘persona’ which definitely makes me feel either unwelcomed or generalized as straight acting int he gay community.

BUT

I’m speaking from a place of privilege. I’m also black, so I know that while “white guilt” may be a nuisance, it isn’t the biggest race issue to tackle; and I think the same concept applies here.

Whether or not you want to admit it, effeminacy does indeed evoke women or the female gender role which I think most gay men don’t desire in a partner unless they were bisexual at least.

There is nothing essentially wrong with being effeminate and you can get on well with effeminate men just perfectly, but that doesn’t mean you have an obligation to feel sexually and romantically attracted to someone you are not attracted to.

As a thin and hairless guy I know many gay men are attracted to body hair. I have no desire to force other men to be attracted to me when they are not. As long as there is respect just let it go.

I agree. There are few things in life more off-putting and irritating than a screaming queen. Genuinely effeminate guys are exactly that: effeminate GUYS. Not female wannabees who, without a doubt, have been the biggest cause of open homophobia in recent years. Why this behaviour exists in some guys’ younger years, is a mystery to me.