“Straight acting” guys tend to believe feminine men give community a bad name
The struggle to embrace our diversity and deal with internalised homophobia is a reality within the gay community, especially for those who don’t conform to traditional male and female binaries.
According to a new study, men who consider themselves “straight acting” are 37% more likely to agree with the statement: “Feminine gay men give gay men like me a bad reputation.”
The study also found that these same men were 33% less likely to have faced homophobia or discrimination related to their sexuality in the last five years.
Additionally, self-identified “straight acting” men were 35% more likely to agree with the statement: “I identify more with the heterosexual community than with the gay community.”
This suggests, unsurprisingly, that presenting and being perceived as “straight” has many benefits in society, such as being able to fit into the mainstream with less fear of stigma and discrimination. “Straight acting” men are also often seen as more desirable within the community itself.
Conducted by Cal Strode, the study surveyed 280 gay men in the UK and in California.
He explained: “We all strive to have a positive self-conception, we want to believe that any group we belong to is positively distinct from others. Social Identity Theory suggests that if we feel this is not the case, we will either be compelled to try to migrate to another group with perceived higher status, or fight to change the values attached to the group we belong to.
“Feminine gay men are caught in the crossfire of a battle that self described ‘straight acting’ gay men are having with themselves,” said Strode. “The way gay men market themselves is more visible than ever before because of the rise of apps like Grindr. This brings things like femphobia (and racism) to the surface, and we need to take every opportunity to challenge that.”
According to Fernando Lopez, LGBT history expert and Director at San Diego Pride, the focus on masculinity in the gay community started as a response in the 1970s to the portrayal of the gay male in the media at that time as a “hyper-effeminate caricature”.
Lopez argued that, ultimately, “A big part of homophobia, internalised and otherwise, rests in chauvinism and ‘femophobia’: the fear of all things feminine and being feminine, because it is seen as weak.”
Strode went on to add: “It’s not helpful to demonise people who use the term ‘straight acting’, but we should challenge them to realise when they’re speaking from a place of internalised homophobia or a position of ‘pass privilege’.
“We can’t expect everyone to have an academic understanding of oppression, privilege and the role they themselves are playing in things, so we have to find constructive ways to start conversations and challenge people in ways that brings them along with us,” said Strode.
There are a whole lot of other connotations that I can attach to effeminate guys: bitchiness; loud, high pitched voices; exaggeratedly effeminate hand and arm gestures and walk… There is something really fake about them, as if they’re acting a part in their own movie. These are things that turn me off effeminate men.
But I just realised that I know many effeminate men who are none of those things. So I am forced to ask: What group(s) of effeminate men is Lopez talking about? The loud, vulgar, bitchy female-imitators or the ones who are effeminate and are just decent, genuine, friendly folk? I doubt that “straight-acting” gay men would have any problem with a genuinely nice guy, effeminate or not.
I agree. There are few things in life more off-putting and irritating than a screaming queen. Genuinely effeminate guys are exactly that: effeminate GUYS. Not female wannabees who, without a doubt, have been the biggest cause of open homophobia in recent years. Why this behaviour exists in some guys’ younger years, is a mystery to me.
I’m honestly surprised that an offensive term such as “straight ACTING” is still being used. Let’s be honest here, straight “acting” gay men are very seldom the ones doing the acting – which is 90% of the problem right there.
I don’t consider myself either stereotypically masculine or feminine, although perhaps I may be perceived more masculine (average level). I am not attracted to effeminacy and I think most gay men are not attracted to effeminacy simply because some gay men grew up taking women as role models when it comes to seduction. Heterosexual men love femininity in the opposite (women), but gay men like the opposite (masculinity) so, when you take a heterosexual dynamic of seduction and try to adapt it to homosexuality it is most likely not going to work.
Whether or not you want to admit it, effeminacy does indeed evoke women or the female gender role which I think most gay men don’t desire in a partner unless they were bisexual at least.
There is nothing essentially wrong with being effeminate and you can get on well with effeminate men just perfectly, but that doesn’t mean you have an obligation to feel sexually and romantically attracted to someone you are not attracted to.
As a thin and hairless guy I know many gay men are attracted to body hair. I have no desire to force other men to be attracted to me when they are not. As long as there is respect just let it go.
“I am not attracted to effeminacy and I think most gay men are not attracted to effeminacy simply because some gay men grew up taking women as role models when it comes to seduction. Heterosexual men love femininity in the opposite (women), but gay men like the opposite (masculinity) so, when you take a heterosexual dynamic of seduction and try to adapt it to homosexuality it is most likely not going to work.
Whether or not you want to admit it, effeminacy does indeed evoke women or the female gender role which I think most gay men don’t desire in a partner unless they were bisexual at least.”
Very interesting. I guess friends would describe me as masculine. Played sports growing up, hip hop dancer, skateboarder, fitness guy. “Jock” for a lack of better terms. I don’t have an effeminate voice and often am mistaken for heterosexual. This is the first time ever that I’ve heard the idea of gay man imitating feminine characteristics of women to get heterosexual attraction. I consider myself bisexual homoromantic. Sexually attracted to men. Romantically attracted to men. Sexually attracted to women. NOT romantically attracted to women. I find your sentence about being bisexual interesting because I guess sexually I am attracted to masculine men and feminine women. I have no problem whatsoever with femininity though. Lot of my buddies are extremely feminine and I’m just as gay! But I don’t have any connection to a female ‘persona’ which definitely makes me feel either unwelcomed or generalized as straight acting int he gay community.
BUT
I’m speaking from a place of privilege. I’m also black, so I know that while “white guilt” may be a nuisance, it isn’t the biggest race issue to tackle; and I think the same concept applies here.