THE EX-GAY MOVEMENT FRAUD
While growing up, many of us probably experienced negative ways of thinking with regard to our sexual orientation. Influences from external sources – such as parents, friends, teachers and the media – often worked towards making us fit in; to be something we knew we were not.
While most of us ultimately come to grips with our identity, others continue to struggle with their sexuality; convinced that they are wrong, unnatural or destined to never be happy or fulfilled. It is these people that are the targets of organisations that are dedicated to changing, or ‘converting’ gays and lesbians from homosexuals to heterosexuals.
This is the ‘Ex-Gay Movement’: An assortment of organisations – usually with a religious and politically conservative background – committed to eradicating the “traumatized, issue-ridden and confused gay and lesbian population” of the world through means of ‘reparative therapy.’
‘’Ex-gay’’ is a term used by reparative therapists, religious groups and others to describe persons who used to identify as gay or bisexual, but now see themselves as heterosexual.
Various controversial forms of therapy and treatments, denounced by many professional bodies including the American Psychiatric Association and the Psychological Society of South Africa are used to achieve the ‘success’ the ex-gay proponents boast of.
Attempting to ‘cure’ homosexuality is nothing new, but while in the past castration, electric shock, brain surgery and breast amputations have been used, today less overtly barbaric techniques such as psychotherapy, aversion therapy and prayer are more common.
But does it really work? Can gay men and women be “turned straight?” Most modern research on the origin of sexuality leans towards the idea that whether we are gay or straight is primarily a genetic or biological factor – and not one of choice, conditioning or our upbringing. This would suggest that reparative therapy would not be effective.
Some people who have undergone the therapy claim that it works, but most commentators believe that they are fooling themselves and are destined to live a life of denial.
Anti-gay activists often cite a study done by Dr Robert Spitzer to support their contention that gays can become straight. Their dilemma is that the author of the study has publicly stated that the ex-gay proponents misinterpreted his work.
“…Of course no one chooses to be homosexual or heterosexual. It would be a mistake to interpret the study as implying that any highly motivated homosexual could change if they were really motivated to do so,” said Dr Spitzer.
The American Psychiatric Association also does not believe that reparative therapy actually works, and that it can in fact do harm. The board of trustees of the association endorsed the following position statement in 1998:
1. “The potential risks of ‘reparative therapy’ are great, including depression, anxiety and self-destructive behaviour, since therapist alignment with societal prejudices against homosexuality may reinforce self-hatred already experienced by the patient.”
2. “Many patients who have undergone ‘reparative therapy’ relate that they were inaccurately told that homosexuals are lonely, unhappy individuals who never achieve acceptance or satisfaction.”
3. “The possibility that the person might achieve happiness and satisfying interpersonal relationships as a gay man or lesbian is not presented, nor are alternative approaches to dealing with the effects of societal stigmatisation discussed.”
4. “Therefore, the American Psychiatric Association opposes any psychiatric treatment, such as ‘reparative’ or ‘conversion’ therapy which is based upon the assumption that homosexuality per se is a mental disorder or based upon a prior assumption that the patient should change his/her homosexual orientation…”
Many desperate people have been hurt through the actions of the ex-gay movement, to the extent that a community of ex-gay survivors has arisen…
If you think reparative therapy is an American phenomenon, think again. The rationale behind the ex-gay movement has found its way to our sunny shores.
Evidence of this can be seen in the disturbing trend taking hold in South Africa schools, namely ‘’corrective rapes,’’ in which lesbians are raped in order to ‘make them straight.’ While these rapes are not supported by any ex-gay organisations (who admittedly usually only ‘treat’ consenting people), the mindset that being gay or lesbian can be ‘corrected’ is common to both the rapists and the people behind the ex-gay ministries.
Wayne Besen, Executive Director and Founder of TruthWinsOut.org, a non-profit organisation aimed at exposing ex-gay myths and right-wing propaganda agrees, stating in his “’Corrective Rape’ of Lesbians In South African Schools Shows Sickness of ‘Ex-Gay Movement’” post, (May 7th 2008) that the belief that GLBT people must be altered no matter what the psychological or physical consequence, is in step with the West’s ex-gay movement.
“The indirect actions and violent words by America’s ex-gay organisations give license to those who wish to justify assaults and intimidation against homosexuals,” wrote Besen.
Recently, a letter promoting reparative therapy was published in the local Jewish community newspaper, the Jewish Report, from a New Yorker advocating an organisation called Jews Offering New Alternatives to Homosexuality (JONAH), an offshoot of the National Association of Reparative Therapy (NARTH).
Dr Juan Nel of the Psychological Society of South Africa (PsySSA) responded to the letter, stating that since 1990 reparative therapy has been strongly discouraged by the American Psychological Association (APA) and many others due to “poor prognosis, the ethics involved in trying to change a trait that is vital to a person’s identity, and because such a practice can do more harm than good.”
PsaSSA partakes in the International Network for Lesbian, Gay and Bisexual concerns and Gender Identity Issues in Psychology (INET), consisting of national, multinational, and international psychological associations.
“INET, among others, has as an aim to increase the number of national psychological associations that formally reject the mental disorder conception of homosexuality and that promote mental health practice that is affirmative of LGBT people,” says Nel.
In conclusion to his letter, Dr Nel states, “PsySSA therefore does not condone or support the use of reparative therapy.”
Many desperate people have been hurt through the actions of the ex-gay movement, to the extent that a community of ex-gay survivors has arisen. Beyond ExGay (www.beyondexgay.com) is an online community for people who at one time participated in the ex-gay movement in an attempt to change their sexual orientation. The site has many contributions from ex-gay survivors.
While it is undeniably every person’s right to choose to undergo ex-gay therapy, and all that it entails, it remains the responsibility of organisations that provide these therapies to offer realistic expectations as to what they can expect.
It is also vital that we understand what some claim is the real rationale behind the ex-gay movement; a political one. Dr. Jack Drescher, a leading voice against the ex-gay movement in the US, recently wrote in the Association of Gay and Lesbian Psychatrists newsletter:
“One major goal is to influence public policies toward gay
boo hoo. Line the members up and shoot them, idiots.
Are you kidding? What century are we in again??
why not start an ex-adultery or ex-murderer movement. Narrow minded biggots I tell you!
scary shit!
Ex-gay?. Oh my God! Idiocracy is alive and well in the world. Can’t we have these morons put down at the vet?
Really. How can you change who you are if you had no choice in the matter in the first place?
People should get real. Why not devote all their hate to someone that deserves it like a murderer, rapist or child molester?
the old SA government had “corrective” therapy in the SADF, used to show gay porn and then use electro shock therapy….nice…..
Gay to Straight. I did National Service in the South African Military myself – I never openly, or in session with the psychiatrist admitted to being gay, and it was never officially so noted (as far as I could determine), BUT, I was never allowed to become an officer, due to being “a security risk” – as nco corporal I dealt with a training unit’s Secret & Top Secret correspondence on a daily basis for nearly 2 years – no security risk now? – after completing 2 years national service I wasn’t allowed to join the Permanent Force (due to certain undisclosed Security Issues) – all of this and much more & guess what, I’m still gay – even having had to give up a future career couldn’t change what my Genetic Blueprint has determined! How about these clever people conducting a bit of counter-research to see if their therapy can change heterosexuals into homosexuals?
Gay to Straight. Counter-research indeed ! Talk about putting the shoe on the other foot !
BULL. ARE THIS PEOPLE FOR REAL OR WHAT,WHO IN EARTH THEY THINK THEY ARE TO CHANGE A PERSON FROM WHO HE IS TO WHAT THEY THINK THEY CAN.EVEN MUGABE CANT DO SUCH A THING.
PLS BOO HOO
ShocKing. Its shocking to say the least that as a Gay and Lesbian society we will not allow these idiots to continue preaching their dribble. However remember that the right to choose who one becomes or is, belongs to that person. If that person is not happy with the prospect of being Gay or lesbian or Bi, it is their perogative to choose alternatives. we may not like their opinion, but being the society that we are that has fought for the rights we have, we have no choice but to respect it. afterall if we had a narrow minded approach to these theories, then we are no better than the idiots themselves. These alternatives have to be seen in the context that they exist, people are very afraid to look in the mirror and be confronted with bare truth.
Well-Written Response. What a well-written an calm response to what has become hysterical over-reaction in the USA; we must always be vigilant, and guard against any erosion of hard-won rights – or perception changes!
str8 to gay. now if we could only find a way of turning hot str8 boys gay….
2 b or not 2 b?. Personally I think just about every gay person has had to struggle with their identity to some extent. For some it was easier to accept that this is what they are and for others it might have taken decades of struggle and even a failed marriage due to inner conflicts, societal pressure, etc. We all know the reality of it though.
Personally, I was one of the latter. I still cannot accept that homosexuality is simply the way I am or a natural way of expressing my sexuality. The design of the organism is all the evidence I need to support my belief that it is an aberration of the intended function. I don’t need a religious manual of whatever source or description for this conclusion.
I have however found that after years of seeking counsel and attempting to re-programme myself in a dysfunctional marriage, the answer is certainly not simple. I also know that neither psychology, nor religious institutions have an answer, a “cure” or even a valid response to the plight of homosexuals.
Lastly, I know that suppressing sexual urges is a dangerous thing to do. One is likely to do more harm to yourself and those around you if you cannot find an expression for this. This can be in the form of self-hatred, punishing yourself by excluding yourself from groups, activities or even all forms of success. At worst, if you lose control for even a second, it may lead to inappropriate sexual advances which scar yourself and the object of your misplaced affection.
I finally realised that there is only one option for me. Accept that this is what and who I have become (no, I don’t believe I was born this way, I believe the gentic differences might rather be brought on as a psycho-somatic effect than be the cause of different orientation). I now accept this and am involved in a loving relationship. All aspects of my life have improved and I am finally growing and developing in areas I would not allow myself to before.
However, though I am extremely open about who I am, I make no propoganda for the political gay agenda. I would never advise anyone that it is a valid choice of sexual behaviour. But, if this is who you are, you had better consider for how long you are going to damage yourself and others before realising that there is no miracle “cure” out there and that your God (whichever flavour of religion you hold to), will NOT answer endless prayers to change what is happening in your mind.
I think that, if I found such a “cure”, I could successfully market it to at least 50% of GLBT’s. Admit it, it would certainly simplify your life. LOL
Peace all. You are entitled to your own opinions. This is only what I believe (a very short version).
Straght vs Gay. Thank you for a very insightful response and peek into the struggles you have been facing. It is clear to me that you have truly explored every possible explanation for why you feel the way you do. I agree also with your ending – everyone is entitled to their own opinions on the matter.
Where I do however disagree with you is your statement that your god, whoever you happen to believe in, will not answer your prayers. I know this will probably unleash a whole new torrent of childish, sarcastic and unnecessary comment, but your statement will only be true if you believe in any of the other so-called gods.
There is only one God, and He is a compassionate God. And believe me, if everyone spent half the amount of time they spent “being gay” in prayer, they will agree with me that God does and will answer your prayers.
What people tend to forget when it comes to religion is that God does not like sin. Whether you’re straight or gay, sin remains sin. The religious argument therefore isn’t so much about straight versus gay, but about people committing and living in sin. Being straight is not an automatic entry into heaven.
Perhaps we should all just stop worrying about the world and start worrying about ourselves…
B-ing. I too believe in one God. I don’t know if it is the same one you believe in though, and wanted to leave it open so everyone can relate. I also believe He answers prayer. From experience I know that He will not change you from being homosexual when you ask Him to though. I don’t pretend to know why, I know He can, but I am me and God is God. Good thing too. Hope this makes my meaning more clear.
2b or not 2b. I deeply appreciate your post. I was part of the ex-gay movement for several years, and underwent reparative therapy the whole time. I have come to terms with my orientation, but full acceptance w/in myself remains elusive.
I am very happy you have been able to find a loving relationship. I hope to find the same – it is a challenge when one carries so many conflicts w/in oneself.
Best,
Don – Pasadena, CA, USA
The Devil. It is normally very conservative people with a strong “relegious” background that think homosexuality can be “cured” through prayer as they believe that “the devil” has planted that unholy seed in gay people. I find it so ironic because who can they ever think that we would choose a life of rejection. In addition, how many of these so called “righteous” and straight people have anal sex with their wifes, girl friends etc, or how many of “staright men” allow their partners to use dildos etc to stimulate them.
I JUST HATE DOUBLE STANDARDS!!!!