Congratulations! It’s a fur-baby
I have disliked dogs, quite intensely, for most of my life. They smell. They have no sense of personal space. Their movements are startling, confusing and sometimes scary. They feel no shame about their bodily functions. While I don’t really feel any compulsion to have a cat in my space either, I can at least […]
Do we honour and obey?
At thirty-one and in a long term relationship, I feel quite a bit of pressure these days to “take the next step”. It irritates me partially because I’m a stubborn ass and hate being told what to do, but mostly because I hate that gay relationships are now subjected to the same expectations and norms […]
The indignities of ‘playing doctor’
No one likes to go to the doctor. No one leaps out of bed, excited by the prospect of sitting in an airless reception room with snivelling, miserable people who look much too contagious to be mingling with the general public. No one enjoys shooting the breeze with their doctor so much that they cancel […]
THE RISE OF THE BEARS
I’m usually a reluctant and late follower of fashion trends. I remember thinking the cardigan would never catch on again, and I held on to my silver sneakers for much longer than was acceptable. I can never predict, despite six years among the hipsters of Cape Town, what the next big ironically hideous must-have of […]
ARE WE PORN THIS WAY?
“The problem with the young ones is that they get all their moves from porn!” said a girl friend of mine at dinner the other day. “They have no idea what a girl wants and they think they have to try the most ridiculous positions. You have to hold them still and tell them to […]
MAKING GAY LONG TERM MAGIC
For me, there is nothing sexy about romance. Romance is beautiful, exciting, and important – but it’s important because of my emotional needs. Romance is wonderful. It makes me feel appreciated, it makes me feel close to my partner, and it makes me happy. But it sure as hell doesn’t make me horny. If my […]
BIPHOBIA – THE FINAL FRONTIER?
My grandfather used to joke that being bi doubled your chances of a date on a Saturday night (something apparently first said by Woody Allen, I later discovered). Actually, what I think it might do is halve your chances. It seems to me that hating on bisexuals is one of the last prejudices still standing […]
THE CAMP VS BUTCH TRAP
When I came out, neither of my brothers seemed very surprised. They hadn’t expected it; but it seemed to make sense and explain all kinds of things. I found that strange, because no one in my family is the kind of rugby-watching macho oke that our medievally patriarchal nation holds up as the standard of […]
YOU GET GAY BACKPACKERS, TOO
I love travelling. It’s right up there with breathing, dreaming of Bradley Cooper and eating-tiramisu-while-thinking-I-should-be-eating-salad on my list of favourite things to do. And I try to do a lot of it. My plan is to take a few months off every two years to go travelling, to break up my retirement and use it […]
THE NEW DEMOCRACY OF PORN
Peruse any dating site or social network and you’ll be forgiven for thinking that just about every gay guy is furiously posting pictures of his privates across the web. Welcome to a new world, writes Al Mackay, one in which we’re all porn stars in the making.