Africa’s first traditional gay marriage ends in divorce
The famous April 2013 wedding
After much speculation, the marriage between the two men who famously tied the knot in a same-sex traditional African wedding has come to an end.
On Wednesday, Cameron Modisane confirmed in a heartbreaking Facebook post that it was with “great sadness and a heavy heart” that he had filed for divorce from his husband Thoba Sithole.
He also shared a copy of the divorce summons.
Modisane revealed he had not seen his husband since February and that the relationship had “irretrievably broken down and there is no reasonable prospect of the restoration of a normal marriage relationship between us.”
Modisane and Sithole tied the knot in April 2013, in a traditional wedding ceremony in front of 200 guests at the Stanger Siva Sungam community hall in KwaZulu-Natal.
They became a global media sensation, were interviewed by numerous local and international TV networks and were even mentioned by American comedian Chelsea Handler.
Their marriage was, however, regular fodder for the gossip mill, with Modisane denying in March that the relationship had ended.
Cameron Modisane and Thoba Sithole
Last year, the Sunday World claimed that he took out a protection order against Sithole following an alleged domestic abuse incident. There were also rumours that Modisane had fathered a child with a woman, which he denied.
In his Facebook post, Modisane stated that he does not believe that “all LGBTI marriages are doomed to end and fail but we should always celebrate people who take the brave step of getting married, living an honest and open life about their sexuality.”
The sad news reflects the reality that all unions, gay or straight, face challenges and difficulties and that some may well end in divorce.
Modisane and Sithole undeniably made a huge impact on the continent. Their wedding gave African same-sex couples a human face and helped open up discussion about homosexuality; showing that gay or straight, we are all entitled to love.
Below is Modisane’s full post.
BREAKING THE SILENCE ABOUT MY MARRIAGE
15 July 2015
It is with great sadness and a heavy heart to inform you that the internationally publicised marriage between me and Mr Thoba Sithole-Modisane has ceased to exist and we are no longer a going concern. I have since filed for divorce and released Mr Sithole-Modisane from his duties, responsibilities and privileges as my spouse.
The first divorce summons was issued on 25 February 2015, and I have not seen Mr Sithole-Modisane since 13 February 2015 and do not know his whereabouts. The marriage relationship has irretrievably broken down and there is no reasonable prospect of the restoration of a normal marriage relationship between us.
I have my reasons for ending the marriage relationship which I will not discuss as they are of a personal nature. Because of those reasons I have lost my love, affection and respect for Mr Sithole-Modisane and decided that I will not be proceeding with the marriage relationship.
I would like to put this chapter of my life behind me and humbly request that EVERYONE refrain from sending me Facebook messages, DMs, e-mails, phone calls or WhatsApps messages enquiring about my past marriage as I refuse to entertain them. I would like to ask for the same compassion and privacy that you would give to anyone going through a similar situation.
I would like to thank my family, friends and everyone who has supported me throughout my relationship marriage over the past 2-3 years. I still strongly believe that marriage for homosexuals is important in the struggle against prejudice and hatred in our society. Personally, I will continue to champion the struggle for equality and rights of the LGBTI (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Intersexed) community. Section 9 (3) of South Africa’s Constitution expressly prohibits unfair discrimination on the grounds of sexual orientation. The law of marriage is invoked both at moments of blissful creation and at times of sad cessation. There is nothing to suggest that same-sex couples are any less affected than are heterosexual ones by the emotional and material consequences of a rupture of their union.
Furthermore, I do not believe that all LGBTI marriages are doomed to end and fail but we should always celebrate people who take the brave step of getting married, living an honest and open life about their sexuality.
Lastly, I wish to thank Mr Thoba Sithole-Modisane for accepting my marriage proposal on 22 June 2012 and for the good times we spent together. I also wish him all the best with his life going forward and his future endeavours.
Thank you and God bless.
Kind Regards,
Mr T. C. Modisane
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This is saddening. I know all marriages have their ups and downs and yes , some end with divorce. We don’t know what the couple was going through but if the divorce was their last option , it’s ok. We cannot judge since we were not part of the marriage. We don’t know what led to the divorce, we were not there. I personally wish them all the best in life and would also like to assure them that there’s life after every ordeal even the divorce. Life goes on.
There is more to this divorce than what you are being told…. I will one day write a full book of behind the scenes and reveal all.
Know that this divorce was timed and planned months in advance. No amount of education can ever give someone morals and sound principles of life. I am glad it is finally over.
Man you read my mind, there is just way more to to this storry, I have no symphathy for the guy who published the divorce decree along with that long composition of nuisance, that was petty, attention-seeking, and desperate.
What did you expect? These unions not marriage are from the pit of hell. All homosexual unions are doomed to fail because it does not have God’s blessings. This unions are confused and many of them will end in court, or in the mortuary where they kill each other. Marriage is between a man and a woman. Same-sex marriages are cursed
CHA UYAPHAPHA KODWA SHAME REV, lastaag, shut up if you don’t have anything pos to say, this is a gay site, how you sneaked your way in here is a puzzling matter, unless you wana tell us something we don’t know like maybe you do find “MEN “attractive too.
I wonder why would Rev Oscar Peter Bougardt visit this website if he is so homophobic?
Some people like Rev. Oscar are like vultures. Waiting for someone to fall satisfy their hunger for attention by writing nonsense on real issues. We have gay couples married longer than 52 years. This is not a platform for hate mongering. What of Pastor Ray McCauley and his divorce? Was that not of God as well? What a joke.
Too bad it did not work out between you two was a perfect match both physically and mentally. sorry 🙁 really were an important symbol for the gay glorious Africa, damn, ok, maybe you can try again …. LOL hello hug them both.
I don’t think Rev Oscar knows what is talking about ! honestly speaking how many mariages between man and women that has never last ???? i believe that he really has a big problem , who are you to judge ?
srry for u guys
I feel really sad for their divorce as for the rumours . . . There’s never smoke without fire.
I am deeply disappointed in them both though because their marriage “normalized” gay people in my (zulu) culture.
Now their divorce is only going to give homophobes especially in rigid cultures and cultures kind of ammunition to hold against as they firmly divorce is wrong.
It is hard enough to get people to accept the gays in black cultures without the few that get accepted go make huge media spectacles then fail at what they started. So many young kids are going to be trapped in closet once again because of this
Sorry 4 u guys!
Who cares ?
I’m so dissapointed in these guys. They made a show off in public about their zulu culture gay wedding and now slap the zulu’s on their faces with a divorce. In Zulu culture there is no divorce. I’m disgusted!
sad news indeed, @Rev Oscar Peter Bougardt I am not sure you are on the right site, this is#MAMBAONLINE, how you found your way here is puzzling to me and I am sure to the rest of us, unless ofcoz you are searching for happiness in the meet market, since there is none in your perfect “straight” life, uyaphapha stick to what you know, like preaching lies pretending to know God and what he requires of humans as if you and him have a conversation on a daily bases, and we will continue being what we are ” GAY”. U Lastaag Rev, waphapha, thanda izindaba zabantu. # UYAPHAPHAMANI.
It’s funny to those who think this was a way of seeking attention then why they give it? I may be homophobic even myself but no need to go in public about that except if I want to be noted for my feelings. Then it goes back to them as attention seekers.
In life we were all born and we will die but in the meantime we need to celebrate our survival by doing what will bring joy to ourselves as long no body’s space is invaded. Homophobic people use the LGBTI as a ground to express their anger towards their so called “opposite sex marriage”. I can’t say people must adapt in new changes as if this” homosexual” thing as if its new to our society but people need to change their attitude towards it as it is a person’s choice.
Serious matters to debate about except the issue of agreed two people. Pastors are also taking a negative part in it thou they are considered to be the source of light. They bring not clear reason to oppose it rather than showing their personal feelings. I myself give hands of applause to those who manage to live their life to the fullest without adjusting to suit the audience. Divorce is a part of marriage regardless of sexuality, so instead of being judgmental lets unite and fight against brake ups in relationships.
Guys, no matter what the problem may be to their relationship, I dont think that it has anything to do with us. Please lets me reminded that they are human and they re bound to have proble just like anyone else. They are not perfect so are we but the only thing that we need to know is that they are striving for perfection.
The only thing that we should do for them is to pray for them not throw water at their problems. One day it may be me or one of us here.
Lastly, I thing we should accept to what we are being told and live it there, whther they are lying to us or anything relevant, that is upto them.