Pretoria court orders mom to let gay father see his kids

A Gauteng woman refused to allow her children to spend time with their gay father because she was concerned that he would “turn them gay”.

According to the Citizen and IOL, the man, a customer service manager, took his ex-wife to court after she blocked him from seeing their kids (aged 9 and 11), in violation of their divorce agreement.

Her reason was because he had come out as gay and she did not approve of his sexuality (the Citizen unhelpfully described this as “his new homosexual lifestyle”).

The case involves a wide range of false and dangerous beliefs about human sexuality that are often used to justify discriminatory behaviour against LGBT people.

The couple divorced in 2014 after the man “came to the clear realisation that his sexual orientation was not that of heterosexuality”.

The woman considered this to be a sin but eventually came to accept his relationship with another man and the children were able to visit their father unhindered.

According to the man, however, this changed after he broke up with his boyfriend and she became increasingly convinced that gay people are molesters and paedophiles.

She especially took exception to the man and their children spending time at the home of his friends; a married same-sex couple.

He claims that she saw homosexuality as a “disease” that could be “spread” to the children. She wrote in one lawyer’s letter that he was “promoting his sexual orientation and way of living to the children”. She then refused to allow him to see his children, especially with the couple present.

The father explained that the times spent with the other couple were innocent movie nights in front of the TV. He also argued against the stereotype of gay men as “exclusively sexual beings” compared to heterosexual individuals being seen as “people who, along with many other activities in their lives, occasionally engage in sex”.

The Gauteng High Court in Pretoria agreed that the real issue was the woman’s irrational and biased fears, insecurities and misconceptions.

It ordered her to immediately allow the father access to the children as per the divorce agreement. She was also instructed to attend a course of parental guidance classes.

Gay father Darren Kelly-Loulié, who runs the blog Two Dads And A Kid with his husband Emanuel, told Mambaonline that he was taken aback by the woman’s ignorant views.

“It’s sad that with so much public information about homosexuality in 2018 there are still adults that believe that sexuality is firstly a choice we make and secondly that it is a transmittable disease. It’s not,” he said.

“Her reaction is extremely negative and harmful to the relationship between the father and his kids not to mention the negative impact it will have on the children themselves.”