When hubby and I bought our new home we got more than we had bargained for. You see, apart from minor (that later turned into major) renovations, we also inherited a tenant that lurks around our property and enjoys playing tricks on us.

Whether you believe it or not, we have a ghost in the house! The spirit of the previous owner‘s late husband still roams around and whenever we criticise any of his former DIY projects – that we now have to fix – or do anything he disapproves off, he loses his temper with poltergeist-like flair.

Our haunting started out like most do: We moved in! At first it began with small annoyances for which there could have been any number of scientific explanations. A light bulb exploding would hardly raise any suspicion of paranormal activity, but when it happens frequently and when a pattern emerges that has nothing to do with faulty electrical wiring, one starts to think twice. The same holds true for our elaborate alarm system that goes off at the most inconvenient times for no earthly reason. Even after being inspected by a technician no fault with the system can be identified.

And it’s not just interfering with our electrical systems through which he likes to make his presence known; our ghost also has a sense of humour which I personally don’t find very amusing. He likes hiding sunglasses, keys and mobile phones – and he especially enjoys doing this when you’re late for work. The punch line being that once you return home the item would be placed neatly back at the same spot where you looked for it that morning.

Perhaps the strangest event took place when friends of ours came to visit with their kids. We had only been living in the house for two weeks but had already removed the majority of the knick knacks scattered around the garden; including flower pots, broken water features and hideous sculptures.

Our friend, her daughter and son ventured into our back garden and later mentioned that they had seen a sculpture of a monkey; the same sculpture that we had removed the week before and was certainly no longer there! After their visit, the little girl told her mother that she didn’t like our house, and the father concurred; later telling us that he ‘sensed’ a spirit in and around our home.

The previous owners popped by our house a week later to bring the last set of keys that we were owed. Knowing that the wife and daughter of our ghost are pretty open-minded I recounted what had been happening in the house. Not exactly sure what their reaction would be, I was flabbergasted by the response. They confirmed that yes, the former man of the house – who had died just over a year and a half ago – was still in our home and, in fact, was sitting right then on our bed in the bedroom.

After briefly hyperventilating (remembering that hubby and I had sex on that very bed where the ghost was sitting), I tried to compose myself. And before I could prevent the words from spewing out of my mouth, I said: “Well then, tell him to leave, God damn it!” They responded calmly that he would leave when he was ready to go. Not at all the answer I was hoping for (I instead wished they’d leave him with a new spiritual address and accompanying taxi fare).

The old man’s favourite spot on the property is a workshop in which he used to build model trains. This, I suspect, was also his hiding place when he wanted peace and quiet to get away from his wife and daughter. When we moved in, this workshop seemed the perfect place for an outside entertainment area. It was promptly demolished and we began to revamp it into a covered Moroccan-style patio. Interestingly, we noticed that this was the one place on the property our cats refused to go near.

As work progressed, the trouble started around the house. First there was a wasp infestation that took weeks to get rid of. Then the one automated garage door refused to work properly and would open by itself whenever it apparently felt like it. The final straw was at our housewarming.

We decided to have the party under the new patio and everything was going well up until around 11:30 pm; our ghost’s bedtime, we were told. He decided that we had partied quite enough and the electricity to the patio area was promptly cut off. Several trips to the main power board inside the house were pointless and the power kept tripping. So we finished off the party by candlelight under the moon. The next morning, in denial about our haunting yet again, I tried to find the electrical fault. And, again, there was none; everything was back to normal and working perfectly.

We’ve now come to accept that we live in a haunted house with an old man that does not like being criticised. I suspect he also disapproves of our lifestyle, friends, pets, taste in furniture and art. Despite this, it doesn’t appear as if he wants to leave. It may seem strange but I’m not scared. It’s kind of comforting knowing I am not alone on the property when “no-one else” is around.

The old man may stay for as long as he wishes – on condition that he doesn’t break anything else, accepts the fact that the queers have well and truly moved in and that, due to the fact that he’s dead, he forfeits any voting rights or opinions regarding future alterations or decor on the property. He should also stay away from our bedroom – or he may get much more than he bargained for.

Get the Mamba Newsletter

Latest Comments
  1. Lol
    Reply -
    • jhb_guy
      Reply -
  2. alwaysrandy
    Reply -
  3. Martin
    Reply -
  4. Comeau
    Reply -

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Send this to a friend