TV’S GAY EUNUCHS

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Ellen DeGeneres

For those of you who don’t know what a eunuch is, a eunuch is a sexless human being. Someone who has been castrated. Someone like Ellen DeGeneres.

Every day – back when I still had DSTV – I would watch Ellen dancing around her studio like a clown. In the beginning I was so happy to see her on TV.

Here was a lesbian making it big despite the political incorrectness of having “out” homosexuals on prime time TV.

However, it wasn’t long before I became bored with Ellen and her stupid show. Sometimes when I was scrolling for something to watch, I would reluctantly click on channel-whatever to see Ellen the Eunuch making retarded jokes and dancing over a table, which was so obviously a phallic symbol.

Never once has she spoken about her sexuality on her show.

In fact, quite the opposite: like Rosy O’Donnell before her, Ellen now jokes about having a “crush” on this actor and that actor. Sometimes you can slightly detect the satiric undertones, but mostly it’s just the fact that poor Ellen has been castrated by Hollywood and by the public at large.

Even though, in certain respects, it has become very fashionable to be gay these days, it is still not acceptable to actually BE gay.

I mean, look at that South African soapie where two guys kissed on screen. It wasn’t long after that the tacky straight people made such a scene about it that they eventually had to cancel the storyline altogether.

Krynauw & Braam – Egoli’s sexless gay couple

On an MNet soapie there was a gay couple, but you would never had said so considering they never once actually kissed, touched or even had sex on screen.

Boring.

These days I don’t watch TV, but if I did I would probably not watch Ellen. I just feel so sorry for her, that poor castrated woman, running around in her converse sneakers, giving that poor table the ‘ol proverbial lap dance. It’s just not right.

Personally, I really hope Ellen eventually finds the self-respect to be a bit more blatant about her sexuality. Maybe she could start by actually saying the word “lesbian” on TV, and then she and that hottie of hers Portia de Rossi could make out or something. I don’t know, just something dramatic. Something that says, “Hey guys, look at me, I’m a cunt-licking lesbian and I’m on prime time TV and there’s nothing you can do about it!”

If it was me, I would probably use a lot of expletives to give my statement some more umph, but I don’t think Ellen would do something like that. I don’t think she has the balls!

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