Neuroqueer Identity: Understanding ADHD and the LGBTQ+ Community

When Everything Clicks Into Place at 40-Something

I was already in my 40s when I first seriously began to suspect that I may have ADHD. Despite always having ants in my pants and being a bit hyper since pre-school, I didn’t think I was being any more precocious than the average underaged poof.

I was late to the party with this particular acronym. But here’s the thing about ADHD – it doesn’t follow the neat little stepping stones we’ve been taught to expect from life. Especially when you’re part of the LGBTQ+ community, where the intersection of neurodivergence and queer identity creates a whole different framework of understanding and complexities when attempting to determine yourself.

Looking back, I’m not surprised. My brain would sometimes act out like a toddler after a Monster Drink, my internal monologue is constantly interrupted by earworms, random soundbites and catchphrases. When I try to sit still and meditate, sometimes the sensory deprivation sparks my brain to create its own internal Cartoon Network-omnibus instead of taking the opportunity to empty out, chill and find some Zen.

Sound familiar? You might be part of what researchers are calling the “neuroqueer” community. Like we need yet another subculture! I know, I hear you.

The Numbers Don’t Lie: ADHD Hits Different in Our Community

Here’s something that might surprise you, or maybe it won’t if you’ve been paying attention to your friend group: LGB teens are 5.16 times more likely to meet the criteria for ADHD than non-LGB teens. That’s not a typo. We’re talking about five times more likely. And it gets more interesting – an exploratory study found that 61% of ADHD participants reported a non-heterosexual sexual orientation. Talk about “curious”.

The research is still catching up, but what we’re seeing is that an estimated 20-30% of the LGBTQ+ community are diagnosable with ADHD, and LGBTQ+ people are more likely to be neurodivergent in the first place, which includes a higher prevalence of ADHD. There’s even evidence that children with an ADHD diagnosis were 6.64 times more likely than controls to have their parents indicate some gender variance on their behalf.

Look, I’m a fan of roleplay and playing doctor-doctor, but I am no health professional. So, I take zero responsibility for what you choose to do with this information. I have been diagnosed (ADHD) by a qualified mental health expert, my psychiatrist, and if you suspect you may be neurodivergent too, you’ll need to see someone equally qualified to make it official. This isn’t something we can self-identify as, unfortunately.

What ADHD Actually Is (Spoiler: It’s Not What You Think)

I always thought ADHD was a condition whereby people could not concentrate on anything, whereas I am constantly focusing on everything. Always taking in terrabytes of information from everything around me from moment to moment. Hypervigilant as well as hyper everything else. Later on I would discover that this was ADHD – an ability to focus on many things but not always able to prioritise what required my attention most urgently.

This misconception is exactly why so many of us, especially in the LGBTQ+ community, go undiagnosed for decades. ADHD isn’t about being unable to focus – it’s about having a different relationship with attention altogether. Your brain might be like a browser with 47 tabs open, three of them playing music, and you’re not sure which one is where the Brenda Fassie is coming from.

The Stimming Connection: Those “Weird Little Quirks” Have a Name

There were so many things about ADHD that I was disappointed to learn were not unique to me. My involuntary singing and weird little blurts in accents and funny voices, and talking to myself incessantly are all apparently common self-soothing behaviours for people living with ADHD. It’s called stimming. “Just keep stimming,” *in Dory from Finding Nemo voice* See! There’s my brain gone rogue again.

ADHD stimming is a repetitive behaviour that is self-stimulating and self-soothing. A person with ADHD may stim to help them focus when they are bored or struggling to concentrate, to cope with stress and anxiety, and to express excitement. Those vocal tics, the humming, the random accent adoption? Vocal stimming may also happen in some people with ADHD as self-soothing mechanisms that aim to calm and comfort oneself.

The research shows that the imbalance of a chemical messenger in the brain called dopamine can affect how folks with ADHD perceive reward and satisfaction, which means you might stim to combat boredom when your brain isn’t getting the stimulation it craves. I apologise unreservedly to all the people I’ve ever shared an open plan office with.

The Neuroqueer Experience: Where ADHD Meets LGBTQ+ Identity

The term “neuroqueer” isn’t just trendy new academic jargon – it’s a lived experience. People with ADHD are more likely to question their gender identity compared to the general population. That’s not because having ADHD makes you trans or nonbinary, but there’s something about the neurodivergent experience that seems to correlate with questioning societal norms, including those around gender and sexuality. I question literally everything. Mostly myself, which is annoying because I rarely have the answers… Doh!

Emerging studies suggest potential genetic links between various neurodevelopmental conditions like ADHD and ASC (autism spectrum condition), and variations in sexual orientation or gender identity. While we’re still figuring out the exact mechanisms, what’s clear is that neurodivergent brains and queer identities often go hand in hand.

The Treatment Reality Check

ADHD medication has changed my life. The side effects are a pain in the ass – occasional anxiety, body aches and pains and neck tension, excessive sweating, it’s VERY expensive – but it has made my productivity infinitely better and my ability to focus and get the job done is worth the payoff. You don’t have to take medication, there are many ways to manage ADHD. It just so happens to work for me and like I said, I saw an expert who knew what he was doing when he prescribed my medication.

But here’s what’s crucial for our community: treatment needs to be affirming and informed. Too many LGBTQ+ people have had negative experiences with healthcare providers who don’t understand the intersection of neurodivergence and queer identity. Finding a provider who gets both aspects of your experience can make all the difference.

The Challenges We Face

LGBTQ+ individuals often face stress and discrimination due to their identities, which could complicate ADHD symptoms and treatment. When you’re already dealing with minority stress, adding executive dysfunction and attention challenges into the mix creates a perfect storm of overwhelm.

Despite this elevated representation, LGBTQIA+ neurodivergent people face unique barriers to diagnosis and treatment. Many of us learn to mask our symptoms as part of surviving in a heteronormative, neurotypical world.

We could really benefit from being there for one another, is what I’m trying to say.

Resources and Next Steps

If you’re reading this and thinking “Holy shit, this sounds like me,” you’re not alone. Here are some steps to consider:

Getting Evaluated: Look for healthcare providers who are both ADHD-informed and LGBTQ+ affirming. Organisations like CHADD (Children and Adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder) and ADDA (Attention Deficit Disorder Association) have provider directories.

Online Communities: The intersection of neurodivergent and queer communities online is vibrant and supportive. Search for terms like “neuroqueer,” “ADHD LGBTQ,” or “queer ADHD” to find your people.

Self-Advocacy: Learn about your rights in healthcare settings. You deserve care that addresses your whole self, not just parts of your identity in isolation.

The -Look, Squirrel!- Bottom Line

Understanding ADHD in the context of LGBTQ+ identity isn’t just about collecting labels – it’s about finally having language for experiences that may have felt isolating or confusing for years. Whether you’re 20 or 50 when you figure this out, it’s never too late to understand your brain better and get the support you need.

Your stimming isn’t weird – it’s functional. Your inability to prioritise everything isn’t laziness – it’s neurodivergence. And your experience as a neuroqueer person is valid, valuable, and increasingly understood by researchers and clinicians who are finally catching up to what our communities have known all along: our brains are different, and that’s not something to fix – it’s something to understand and support. In my opinion it’s also somewhat of a superpower, but that’s another longish follow up article I may have to write in the near future.

Welcome to the neuroqueer splash pool. The water’s chaotic, but at least there’s a few unicorn inflatables and a friend or two to hold onto.

References

1. LGB teens 5.16 times more likely to have ADHD: Research Archive of Rising Scholars – “Sexual Orientation Differences in ADHD in Adolescents in Southeastern US“
2. 61% of ADHD participants reported non-heterosexual orientation: Cortical brain structure and sexual orientation in adult females with bipolar disorder or attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. 
3. Stimming research: Multiple sources including research on ADHD self-soothing behaviors and stimming mechanisms
4. LGBTQ+ neurodivergent prevalence estimates: LGBTQIA+ and Neurodivergent: Shining a Light on Intersectionality and Mental Health. True North Psychology, December 2024. 
5. General ADHD information and resources:
   o CHADD (Children and Adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder)
   o ADDA (Attention Deficit Disorder Association)
   o CDC ADHD Data and Statistics