Despite growing visibility and progress, many myths about lesbian and gay people persist. These misconceptions fuel stigma, discrimination, and misunderstanding — often harming LGBTQ+ people and their families. Here are eight common myths, unpacked with facts, context, and clarity.
Many of these myths about being gay or lesbian are equally applicable to bisexual and transgender people and other groups that are part of the LGBTQ+ community.
1. Myth: Being lesbian or gay is just about sex
Being gay or lesbian is not simply about sexual behaviour. It’s about who you are emotionally, romantically, and socially drawn to.
Like heterosexual people, lesbian and gay individuals form deep relationships, fall in love, build families, and create meaningful lives.
Reducing someone’s identity to sex ignores the full human experience of connection, companionship, and love. Sexual orientation is about relationships and identity, not just physical intimacy.
2. Myth: Being gay or lesbian is a choice
The belief that people “choose” to be gay is widespread — and incorrect.
Some claim it’s a trend, the result of parenting, media influence, or negative experiences with the opposite sex. In some African contexts, there are even claims that people are “recruited” or paid to be LGBTQ+. These ideas have no basis in fact.
Lesbian and gay people have a natural attraction to people of the same gender, or if bisexual, people of more than one gender. Sexual orientation is a deeply rooted part of who someone is. Many people recognise their attraction from a young age, while others come to understand it later in life, especially in societies where heterosexuality is assumed or enforced.
While sexuality can be fluid or on a spectrum for some, it is not a conscious decision. No one chooses who they are attracted to — just as heterosexual people do not choose to be straight.
3. Myth: Being lesbian or gay is unnatural
This myth stems from the idea that same-sex attraction is not “normal” or does not occur in nature. It has also historically been linked to the false claim that homosexuality is a mental illness.
In reality, homosexuality was declassified as a mental disorder by the American Psychiatric Association in 1973, and later by the World Health Organization in 1990. Today, all major medical and psychological bodies recognise that sexual orientation is part of the natural diversity of human experience.
Same-sex behaviour and pairing have also been documented in hundreds of animal species, from birds to mammals. While human sexuality is complex, this evidence clearly shows that same-sex behaviours are not “unnatural” — they are widespread and part of the natural world.
4. Myth: Being gay or lesbian is immoral
What people consider “moral” often depends on cultural, religious, and personal beliefs, which vary widely across time and place.
While some acts, like murder, are largely universally condemned, history shows that many ideas about morality can change. Practices once widely condemned — such as divorce or women wearing certain clothing — are now accepted in many societies.
Everyone has the right to their own beliefs. However, those beliefs should not be used to justify discrimination or harm. In democratic societies, laws and policies should be based on principles of equality, dignity, and human rights, not on imposing one group’s moral views on others.
5. Myth: Being lesbian or gay is lonely
This myth assumes that LGBTQ+ people are destined to live isolated, unhappy lives. In reality, many lesbian and gay people enjoy rich, fulfilling relationships, friendships, and family connections.
While social stigma and discrimination can create barriers, LGBTQ+ communities around the world — including in South Africa — offer strong networks of support, belonging, and solidarity.
Love, companionship, and connection are not limited by sexual orientation.
6. Myth: Being gay or lesbian is a threat to children and families
There is no credible evidence that lesbian or gay people pose any greater risk to children than heterosexual people. Major research bodies have consistently found that children raised by same-sex parents do just as well (and sometimes better) as those raised by heterosexual parents in terms of emotional, social, and educational outcomes.
This myth is often extended into the claim that homosexuality undermines “the family” or so-called “family values”. However, this argument relies on a narrow and outdated definition of what a family looks like. Families exist in many forms — single-parent households, extended families, blended families, and same-sex parent families — all of which can provide love, stability, and care.
The core values that sustain families — love, responsibility, commitment, and support — are not limited by sexual orientation.
7. Myth: Being lesbian or gay is not “traditional” or is un-African
Same-sex attraction exists in every culture and society, including across Africa. The claim that being LGBTQ+ is “un-African” is historically inaccurate. Evidence shows that same-sex relationships and diverse gender expressions existed in many African societies long before colonialism.
Ironically, many of the laws criminalising homosexuality in African countries today are colonial-era imports, introduced by European powers. These laws — not LGBTQ+ identities — are the foreign imposition.
Using “culture” or “tradition” to justify discrimination often reflects political agendas or misinformation, rather than historical truth.
8. Myth: Being gay or lesbian is about wanting “special rights”
When LGBTQ+ people advocate for their rights, they are not asking for anything extra — they are asking for equal treatment.
LGBTQ+ rights are simply human rights. These include the right to:
- Live free from discrimination
- Be safe and protected under the law
- Access healthcare and services
- Express one’s identity
- Love and form relationships
- Marry and build a family
The goal is not special treatment, but equal dignity, protection, and opportunity — the same rights that others already enjoy.
Why Challenging These Myths Matters
Misinformation about lesbian and gay people and the broader LGBTQ+ community doesn’t just shape opinions — it can influence laws, policies, and everyday behaviour. Challenging these myths helps create a society that is more informed, inclusive, and compassionate.
For LGBTQ+ people, seeing these myths addressed can be affirming and empowering. For allies, understanding the facts is a crucial step in supporting equality and standing up against discrimination.
At its core, this is about recognising a simple truth:
Everyone deserves respect, dignity, and the freedom to be who they are.
One Response
Bigots in governments such as that in the USA should read this excellent summary of myths surrounding gay people. UNHCR in some countries in Africa could also benefit from reading and reflecting, as many of the officers employed by the agency give free rein to their homophobia with impunity, in direct contradiction to the agency’s rules and regulations. I would suggest you share Queer 101, 8 myths with UNHCR Geneva, requesting it be shared with all UNHCR offices across the continent. Only the most hardened bigot would fail to understand the message. Unscrupulous politicians and religious leaders are the most difficult to reach as it is in their interest to maintain a hold over voters or congregations: once the voters or religious followers are no longer in their thrall, they lose power and, in many cases, money.