Reclaiming Our Faith: Finding a personal relationship with our spirituality


In our journey of self-discovery and acceptance, many of us queer folk have encountered painful moments of rejection.

We may have been told that our identities are sinful, unnatural, or incompatible with our faith. This rejection can come from the very communities we were raised in, where we expected love and acceptance. It can lead to a profound sense of isolation, as we grapple with the conflict between our authentic selves and the expectations imposed upon us.

As a fellow queer individual, I understand the weight of these experiences and the importance of healing. Through my journey of faith deconstruction and reconstruction, I have come to realise that it is crucial for us to embark on a journey of faith deconstruction and reconstruction.

We must reclaim our spirituality on our own terms, separate from the oppressive beliefs and biases that have caused us harm.

This process involves critically examining the religious teachings that have been weaponised against us and seeking a new understanding of our faith that is inclusive, empowering, and affirming of our identities.

In my quest to understand my spirituality, I discovered that faith is a personal expression of one’s identity. While the desire to belong to a community is natural, it is vital that we reclaim our faith as individuals. We must recognise that our spirituality is deeply personal, and no human mediator should dictate its course. Regardless of whether we identify as Christian, Muslim, etc. or choose to identify as spiritual, our faith belongs to us alone.

“In reclaiming our faith, we reclaim our right to define and express our spirituality without the need for external validation.”

One of the most beautiful aspects of reclaiming our faith is the ability to view it through the lens of our own unique experiences. Our personal stories, struggles, and triumphs shape the way we understand and practice spirituality. It is within our power to redefine our faith and find new meaning that resonates with our individual identities. By embracing our authentic selves, we empower ourselves to explore and live our spirituality with genuine conviction.

It Is crucial to remember that even in the absence of an accepting community, we can embark on our spiritual journey as individuals. Reclaiming our faith does not require us to sever ties with our community entirely but rather encourages us to cultivate a personal relationship with our spirituality, even when surrounded by unsupportive environments. Through self-reflection, self-acceptance, and self-love.

Reclaiming our faith is an act of self-empowerment and healing. By taking ownership of our spirituality, we regain control over our narrative and find solace in the understanding that our worth is not determined by others’ opinions or judgments.

This process allows us to explore and interpret our faith based on our own lived experiences, embracing the aspects that resonate with us and leaving behind those that no longer serve our growth. Reclaiming our faith offers us a space of liberation, where we can reconcile our past pain and embark on a journey of self-discovery and self-acceptance.

Furthermore, in reclaiming our faith, we reclaim our right to define and express our spirituality without the need for external validation.

Our relationship with the divine is deeply personal and doesn’t require justification or explanation to anyone else. We have the freedom to connect with the sacred in a way that feels authentic to us, honouring our unique identities and experiences. Whether we find comfort in established religious traditions or forge our own spiritual path, we have the power to shape our beliefs and practices according to our own truth.


Ishmael Mokone is a published author, speaker, and versatile writer, blending fiction, poetry, and non-fiction to captivate readers. A former pastor, LGBTQIA advocate, and entrepreneur, they inspire with their diverse narratives, advocate for social change, and empower audiences through their compelling speeches.

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