Jake Gyllenhaal wins Lance Armstrong race

Celebrity watchers have been fascinated of late by the rather gorgeous constant trio of
Jake Gyllenhaal, Matthew McConaughey and Lance Armstrong. The three men have been spending a great of deal of time together throughout the US summer: They’ve been seen at award shows and of course regularly cycling together (a spandex and lycra feast-athon sure to blow any gay man’s mind). While many have imagined rather interesting x-rated fantasies about what’s been going on between the hunky bachelors, the reason for the regular threesome has finally been revealed. It seems that Matthew and Jake have been competing for the honour of portraying the great cycling legend in a Lance Armstrong biopic. And it’s been announced that Jake has won the role. It must have been a VERY hard choice for Lance to have made, but we hope he had fun in the process! However it seems that all has been forgiven: the decision apparently hasn’t soured the relationship between Lance and Matthew. The two were seen running together on Tuesday, as buff and desirable as always…

Boy George ends his street cleaning career on high note

Boy George seems to have lightened up after his tirade at the media in the face of a barrage of flashing cameras at the start of his street cleaning sentence (brought on by drug possession charges). He ended his New York cleaner spree by developing a sense of humour and instead making funny faces for photographers. Boy George’s manager Jeremy Pearce said that experience wasn’t as bad as the star expected: “It was hard work but he seemed to almost enjoy it. He put his back into it and did a good job. I think people were quite surprised. I think they thought he was going to be a diva.” So what was the first thing Boy George planned to do after completing his sentence? “I’m going to go off and have a huge glass of champagne,” he said. He is also planning to throw a party for the city’s sanitation workers. We rather like that actually – although there’s always the risk the party might be rather trashy… [groan – ed]

Tom Cruise fired for being weird

Tom Cruise has been fired by his studio, Paramount Pictures, because, according to the company, his strange behaviour has negatively affected his popularity and box-office appeal. The studio chose to not renew Tom’s production deal, on that basis that “His recent conduct has not been acceptable to Paramount,” says company head Sumner Redstone. Tom has raised eyebrows by jumping on Oprah’s couch while professing his love for girlfriend Katie Holmes, slamming Brooke Shields for taking anti-depressant medication, and regularly punting his quack pseudo religion, Scientology. Tom has responded by announcing that he will be setting up his own production funding company, independent of the studios. In other TomKat news, it’s been rumoured that the first official photoshoot of baby Suri for a major American magazine turned into a fiasco, with the parents apparently demanding repeated re-shoots and considerable Photoshop work on the images because the poor child just didn’t look pretty enough.

Robbie supports George Michael’s park escapades

Robbie Williams has come out in support of George Michael’s increasingly embarrassing sex-in-the-park shenanigans. He’s been quoted as saying that, “If there was a wood near my house full of women who wanted sex then I’d find it difficult not to go there.” He’s also told the UK’s Sun newspaper that he has a crush on Madonna. He said, that “Madonna is the ultimate in our day and age of the grass being greenest. Guy Ritchie is a lucky man…. I’m in awe of her drive.” He revealed that he’s written a song about the pop icon called She’s Madonna, which will be included on his upcoming album.

Becks and Posh launch fragrance…uhh… not really…

You might expect David and Victoria Beckham to attend the launch of their new fragrance, which goes by the name of Intimately, right? Not quite. Instead, they sent stand-ins to do the job. Not that the two were very convincing look-a-likes, especially as the faux Victoria actually had some meat on her bones. It seems that the rich and famous are so damn rich and famous – and lazy – that they don’t even need to bother to make public appearances anymore.

Beyonce struggles with new album

Beyonce Knowles appears to be struggling to ensure that she will continue to top the charts with her to-be-released album titled B-day (An unfortunate title if you ask us; Don’t Americans know what a ‘bidet’ is?) First, her last two singles haven’t exactly set the charts on fire, and now tracks from the new release have been leaked onto the Internet leading to rather nasty reviews. In response, industry insiders say that she’s tried to postpone the album’s release, hoping to rework some of the songs and include new tracks such as a possible duet with Shakira. A UK tour has been cancelled, and her record company is said to be rather nervous. The CD is however still scheduled to be released on the 5th of September at the time of writing.

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